True Confessions

Most people I know would tell you that I'm a pretty honest person.  Sometimes, too honest.  I tell the good and the bad, even if it makes me seem a little crazy.  I was going to just skim over this past week and tell you all about the yummy meals we made and my first ever shopping trip to Whole Foods and then you would say "My goodness, that girl has her stuff together.  She is really grooving on this vegan stuff."  And that would make me happy because, for one thing I freaking love it when people say "grooving".

However, that little angel on my shoulder clobbered me upside my head and said "Tell the whole story, girlie, or I'll smack you again."  One tough angel.

So here's the truth.  I ate meat this week.  More than once.  And french fries.  Twice.  And I felt guilty about it.  And slightly nauseated. It wasn't as good as I thought it would be.  But damn, I wanted that greasy, salty food soooo badly!

Okay, now you know the horrible truth:  I'm not perfect. Surprised? Yeah, me neither.  It's just frustrating when I find myself wanting to veer off of my vegan path.  I have so far to go to  get healthy!  And these stumbles aren't making the journey any shorter. Since I've always been rather pessimistic, a stumble can become a huge step backwards in my head.  And I start thinking about giving up on the changes I've started making.

It's only been a month or so that we've been trying to adopt a vegan diet.  We've had our ups and downs.  We don't understand all the ins and outs of what we're "supposed" to eat or even how to cook it.  We're still learning a lot.

My husband has lost nearly 30 pounds. I've only lost 10 and, yes, I know men tend to lose weight faster.  But it's another little chink in my armor.  So I think "Why am I doing this?  I am not losing weight, I keep craving junk food, and I can't keep my pantry stocked because I don't always know what to buy! I'll just quit, just go back to eating whatever sounds good at the moment."

Luckily, my husband is an optimist and when we eat meat or french fries, he just sees it as "we ate meat" or "we ate fries".  It is not a catastrophe.  He does not fall into a dark, deep funk.  He just goes right back to eating the "good" stuff at the very next meal.  Without any freaking out.  When I told him I was considering just giving up, he was puzzled. "Why? We're doing great!"  Um, are you eating the same food I am?  Yes, he is.  But he sees us eating healthy about 75 percent of the time.  That's not "screwing up 25 percent of the time", like it appears in my mind.  He is excited because we have went from eating healthy zero percent of the time to eating healthy 75 percent of the time.

Well, damn.  That's pretty good thinking there, husband. So I am going to go right back to eating veggies and fruit and healthy proteins and healthy carbs, etcetera.  I'm not going to beat myself up over eating ONE cheeseburger.  After all, I used to eat two or three cheeseburgers every week.  Wow!  I am doing so much better!  I had vegan soup for lunch today, full of great vegetables and legumes.  For dinner, I made a tofu and veggie stir fry served over brown rice.

Good for me!  And for my hubby.  We want to be healthy and have a long, happy life together.  So we will do it.  It just takes time and dedication and a lot of research.  We're working on it!

Oh, and my first trip to Whole Foods was amazing, but overwhelming.  That is one huge store!  So many options, so many choices.  Lots of good healthy food, but I realized I still need to do some research -- I wanted to buy some protein powder, to add to smoothies.  So I envisioned these jars of protein powder, maybe the size of a jar of instant tea?  Um, no.  All we found were these BUCKETS of protein powder, like I've seen in health food stores at the mall and figured only bodybuilders eat.  I need to do a little more reading about protein, as you can see.

And today I discovered the Whole Foods website, which contains a ton of recipes.  Check them out if you're looking for healthy recipes.  Here's the address: http://wholefoodsmarket.com/recipes/